It was late tonight. Hubby had already take the trashcan for pickup in the morning, and unbeknownst to him, I still had a bag of trash from today’s cleaning adventure in our bedroom that needed to go out.
Already wearing a hoodie and jeans, I slipped on my shoes, opened the garage door, and proceeded down the driveway with the half-filled bag of garbage.
Only two steps past the coverage of my jeep did the wind hit me. It has been unseasonably windy and rainy today, and this wasn’t a normal wind for this time of year: it was warm, but cool at the same time. Strong. Powerful.
For some, that may feel like freezing, but typical Michigan weather for early January is in the teens with a foot of snow on the ground. For us, this is like fall. It crazy to be comfortable outside in only a hoodie.
I continued to walk to the end of the driveway, opened the trash can, threw the bag in, and began my track back to the house.
Only after a few steps, I stopped.
“You need this right now,” I heard God tell me.
Tears began to stream down my face, and my cheeks were quicky cooled by the wind. I didn’t want to move, but feared the gazes of those driving by to this woman just standing in the middle of her driveway at 11 o’clock at night.
I walked back into the garage, closed the door, and proceeded to unlock the backdoor to the garage. My eyes quickly began to adjust to the darkness of nothing but the wind and trees, the city lights in the distance, and the occasional car passing by.
As I walked passed the protection of the sunroom, I was once again struck by the wind.
I stepped out further and embraced its force on me.
Tears began to stream again.
In one of the books I’m currently reading, Healing Amelia, she described her parts of self being healed either by water, or wind, or some substance. She described the substance grabbing ahold of the pain, the heartache, the terror, and to actually feel it leave the body and be washed away.
God was moving through the wind tonight, and I felt Him move just like that, beginning to take the pieces away….
A part of the song “Let it Roll” came to mind…
“And all You ever wanted for me was the time to understand. And all I ever wanted for You was to see me shining for you And I wish that I could be back in the day that I could say let it roll…. let it roll…. let it roll…”
Those words replayed over and over in my head as the wind died down and my tears slowed. All the while, it was like God telling me everything was going to be OK…
All I could do was stand there with my arms slightly outstretched at my sides. My mind raced thought thoughts of everything that has been going on, thought of what is to come. It seemed crazy to me that almost as soon as I stepped outside just to feel the wind that it died down.
I lowered my hood off my head, and as soon as I did, another gust overtook me. It felt like His arms were wrapping around me. Everything was going to be ok, I just had to let it roll…